I get a good feeling

Ever feel like your life is defined by song lyrics?

“woah hooo, sometimes I get a good feeling…”

You said it. I’ve got a stupendous feeling about 2012. Geared-up for some serious good things to happen. Change baby change. That’s the name of the game. Spin the wheel of life and land in some new territory. Wherever it is, I will thrive and grow.

Exciting opportunities surround me. I am returning home to The Lee Strasberg Institute to teach in the Young Actor’s Program for ten weeks. I’m deeply honored and excited to be teaching a method class and directing a play. In preparation, I’ve been reading Lee’s work and reviewing my notes from my own years of study.  I’m approaching the work with a fresh eye and feel more passionate then ever about it’s value, integrity and plain genuiousness. Sometimes when you step away from something, it works on you in the inside. It ferments, changes your inner workings and structures itself in a usable way. I am ready to make a contribution. To share and pass down the legacy I’ve been given.

“They have a name for the winners in the world, I want a name when I lose”.

Do you lose when you don’t get what you want? I couldn’t believe my good fortune to be sitting in front of director John Landis a couple of weeks ago. Called straight into Producer’s session, I starred at the funny bow-tied clad legend while he perused my resume and asked me questions. It should have been an easy booking: funny, sexy New Jersey character. But alas, the fates did not have it in store. So is it “losing” when you don’t get a role or the job that you want?  And why isn’t it winning by just getting close to winning? Why does it have to be so cut and dry? You win or you lose. But I still consider myself a winner just for getting into that casting room. The closer I get the sooner I know it will happen. Being in the arena of success is intoxicating. Why after all this time do I still get so excited by Hollywood? How has my dreamed stayed so strong and so intact? I am in awe of whatever keeps me going. I don’t even take credit for it. It’s beyond me. Bigger then me. I’m here having the experience but something is guiding me. Keeping me pure and wholesome. Thank Goodness. I would hate to have become cynical.

“She’s young now, she’s wild now and she wants to be free”

I feel a restlessness to experience more of life. To travel. To see the world. It’s a constant tug between Hollywood and Life. If I leave, my Hollywood dream can’t come true. But I’m busting at the seams to be free. I can act anywhere (I keep telling myself) but I’m madly in love with this town. How can I be bored and in love at the same time? I’m going to the Equity auditions in Boston in April. Maybe I’ll land a role. Then go on to Broadway.  I’m going to Europe in May. Perhaps I stay? Oh 2012, you offer so many wonderful opportunities. We can all start fresh. Clear the slate. Become to true to ourselves. Honor what we really need and have the courage to move in that direction (even if it means leaving something or someone behind). I wish all of you the best possible year yet. And most of all I wish you fulfillment. Nobody likes always wanting for something. Find it. No matter what obstacles you have to cross to get it. And in the meantime, find happiness in what you already have. Sometimes that’s the sweetest thing. Happy New Year!

 

(Thanks to Flo Rida and those other guys from the 70’s/80’s  who wrote those cool lyrics)

 

 

 

 

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